It's been known for years that sex is good exercise, but until recently
nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different
sexual activities. Now, for the first time in the Western World,
here
are
the true caloric benefits of sex.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With consent....................................... 12 Calories
Without consent................................... 187
Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands..................................... 8 Calories
With one hand...................................... 12 Calories
With your teeth.................................... 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection.................................... 6 Calories
Without an erection............................... 315
Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris......................... 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.......................... 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary......................................... 12 Calories
69 lying down...................................... 78 Calories
69 standing up.................................... 112
Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................... 216
Calories
Doggy Style....................................... 326
Calories
Italian chandelier................................ 912
Calories

ORGASM:
Real.............................................. 112
Calories
False............................................. 315
Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging............................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately............................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..... 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old.................................... 36 Calories
30-39 years........................................ 80 Calories
40-49 years....................................... 124
Calories
50-59 years....................................... 972
Calories
60-69 years...................................... 2916
Calories
70 and over...............................................
Death

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.............................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.......................................... 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door....... 3521 Calories